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catatan seorang demonstran

Ayu Dewi 19 Januari 2011

I dont care if I actually live in the different time zone with Gie, as long as we have the title of this writing as something in common. He has a book written about his life titled ‘catatan seorang demonstran’, and I’m writing an article about a piece of my life here and give it the same title. The slight differences are he wrote to express his feelings while I write to plan my lesson. He do ‘demonstration’ to demand whoever to do what he believed as the right thing to do, and I do ‘demonstration’ in front of my class to ensure my students are not only receive the knowledge, but they also experience. At one point of time after few years living in the sterile and man-made-ly perfect Singapore, suddenly I realized that I missed being near the nature. The real nature. Where I can see the horizon. Where stars are poured to sparkle the night sky. Where my children can learn from the sea and the jungle, not only from reading a book or clicking some internet websites. So here I am: two weeks after the deployment, far from the glamorous press conferences and dinner invitations from some biggies. It’s the time when reality hits me. I never had any kid before. People say your life will be turned upside down when you have one. Well, I have 100 kids now and hell yeah I can tell you they turned my life upside down and inside out. I fall in love mad-mad-madly with them. Things that I proud of is changed. Before this, I was proud of -to illustrate my point- my GPA, my new macbook, or my latest cool holidays. Now, my student’s poem is my new Gucci that I carry arround everywhere and proudly show it to everyone. The most exciting gadget is my laptop that is filled with my students’ pictures of them splashing water to each other at the river near our village. The only fame that matter is that my students are telling their friends about how fun Ms. Ayu’s class is. When you're telling them story about the universe, you just can’t ask for a better feeling than the one when seeing their sparkling eyes and slightly opened mouth with amazement. I love watching them in their aha moments, when we do our experiments and we find out why things happen like it is. I love the moments when the quietest girl in the class shouting the answer of my question with excitement, or when the most shy girl raise her hand to lead the prayer before leaving the class, or when the so-called naughtiest boy are jumping joyfully when finally he find the right answer. I'm obsessed. I want to bring them home with me. I want to raise them, and talk about the planets or what do they want to be when they grow up before we sleep. I think about them all the time. I am in constant hunger of ideas on what to do in class tomorrow and new ways to make my lesson more fun and more experiential. I almost reached a point where I stop to think about anything else. In my sleep, I’ve stopped dreaming too. Maybe because now during the day I’m living my dream. Or maybe simply because I’m just too tired entertaining these kids thruout my wake up time. Which I’m thankful for every single second of them. Wise man say, only fool rush in, but I can’t help fallin in love with them.

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