What am I here for?

Adeline Susanto 9 Januari 2011
It looks like a cliche. Yes, I am here in Majene to be a teacher. Yes, I have signed a contract of spending my year far from my home and family trying to give an impact on basic education in remote area of Indonesia. Yes, I am here to solve problems which government and professors of education find it hard to manage; standing in front of the students and give them knowledge and moral examples. Yes, I know it is my duty, my honor to work on. But.. I feel useless. My village is not as remote as the other in Majene. My school has enough teacher although there is no time discipline. My house is big, and beautiful, and clean. I have my own big room. My foster dad have two motorcycles which I can use one. The main road is just about 1 km which I can reach on foot. Food is never become problem here. So. Am I being ungrateful? It is just far better than my expectation. Expectation of living in a village with so underdeveloped condition, in house of woods, and street of soils, etc. Does this village even need me? Why I don’t just go to Paminggalang. Where even motorcycle cannot reach. Where there is one school and one teacher only. Maybe they need me more in there. There is water and electricity so I will not need to worry about daily life and notebook usage. Maybe I can do more there. Maybe they would listen to me more than here in my village. As I writing this paper, my heart beats the mind. I got to find out that there are actually problems in this village. Problem of ignorance, not wanting to care about kids education and the importance of school. Problem of self-esteem, always saying that the kids are stupid and keep on mention it. Problem of poverty, where the land is not well enough to harvest good quality of corps. And problem of health, where young age death is common things to happen. In fact, I do am needed here. I can try to communicate with the people about education. I can find the kids talent to show the parents that their kids are living treasures. I have knowledge on corps and health as well. I am indeed needed here. And about the teacher in my school, there are problems as well, called lack of team work, Here, teacher won’t work in team, one care not about the other which made everyone become so much burdened when they got a responsibility in one event. The problem gets bigger as the 6th grade teacher is about to leave. Right after the duty letter arrived, she will leave the school, with no subtituter. 6th grade, no teacher, how would you define that? I got lost in the dream land, in my utopia, which has blinded me to see the reality in my own place. Maybe I cannot be like Agung who leads the kids to recite Koran verses everyday. I cannot be like Arrum who leads the program and make a pretty good relation with the authorities. Nor Ia can be like Soleh to teach around 50 students at his house everyday. Or at least, get to teach the neighbouring school in need like what Nisa, Wiwin, Tika, and Arrum did. My neighboring school is just good enough indeed. I ain’t got the similar chance. But surely I can do something real rather that wondering if I can do this or that. 2011 resolution : crying kids on letting me go home on November.. Crying happily? well, eitherway is fine..

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